


My Spirk One-Shot Collection, Part 4

by IvanW



Series: Ivan's One-Shot Collection [4]
Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Gay, Gay Sex, Love, M/M, One Shot, One-Shot Collection, Romance, Series, spirk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-04-16 20:48:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 19,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4639701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IvanW/pseuds/IvanW
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the fourth part of my collection of one-shot Kirk/Spock stories. All Kirk/Spock. Mostly AOS.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Summer Movies in the Park

“It’s more crowded than I thought it would be.” Jim looked around the park, swarming with people—mostly couples and families—laying out blankets and chairs in preparation for the movie they were going to show when darkness fell.

It was a summer thing. A movie in the park. This was among the last weekends they would run it. By September it was over.

“You weren’t the only dummy who had this idea,” Bones grumbled, laying out their own blanket. “Outdoors with bugs. You better not get bit by anything, Jim. I’m gonna stab you hard if you have some kind of reaction.”

“You didn’t have to come.”

“Someone had to chaperone you.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “Chaperone me? Bones I’m twenty-three. I stopped needing Grandma Bones a long time ago.”

“Oh be quiet. Where is he anyway? I thought his kind were always on time.”

“Bones!” Jim turned around just then to see Spock approaching. “Here he comes now. Try and behave. Hey Spock!”

“Jim.”

“I’m so glad you made it.”

Spock arched a brow. “I was unaware there was ever a doubt.” He pressed his fingers to Jim’s.

Jim smiled and leaned over to kiss Spock on the lips. He ignored Bones’ gagging noises.

When the brief kiss was over, Spock looked at Bones. “Doctor.”

“Spock.”

“I was not aware the doctor had decided to grace us with his presence.”

“Yeah. Well. He thinks I need a chaperone.”

Spock frowned minutely. “My understanding of a chaperone would indicate your goal is to prevent Jim and me from becoming intimate.”

Bones made a face.

“If that is indeed the purpose of a chaperone then you are too late.”

Jim grinned. “Many times over.”

“Please. You two. You’re making me lose my appetite,” Bones protested. “Besides maybe I just want to see the movies.”

Spock nodded. “That is possible. And it is highly unlikely Jim and I will be intimate during the movie with all these people in attendance.”

“Thank God for small favors then!”

Jim reached for Spock’s hand and tugged them both down onto the blanket. He cozied up to Spock, who willing wrapped his arms around Jim and pulled him close. He sighed happily.

Bones shook his head and plopped down on the blanket about as far from Jim and Spock as he could get.

“What are we seeing?” Spock asked, very close to Jim’s ear.

Jim shivered as he felt the touch of Spock’s lips. “Some old Earth space movies. Um. 2001: A Space Odyssey and Close Encounters of the Third Kind.”

“I am unfamiliar with them.”

“Well. They’re pretty stupid, but the point is to be outside on a summer night all cozied up with the one you love.”

Bones gagged again.

“And friends.”

Jim leaned back against Spock and closed his eyes as Spock’s lips kissed his forehead.

Bones mumbled something.

“What was that doctor?” Spock asked.

“I should have invited Christine,” Bones replied.

“Why didn’t you?” Jim asked dreamily.

“Because I’m a damn fool. I’d forgotten what a couple of love birds you two were.”

The lights in the park went down.

“Shh, it’s starting,” Jim declared. He stroked his fingers along Spock’s as they settled back to watch. 

 


	2. I Breathe So You Breathe

Spock opened his eyes to the sound of instruments and the feel of dizziness. He was lying prone and his limbs felt heavy with disuse and soreness. He slowly, carefully turned his head.

His captain rose from a chair that had been placed beside a…biobed. Spock was in sickbay. Jim took a step toward Spock.

“Captain?” Spock’s voice sounded hoarse to his own ears.

“Spock, you’re—” Jim stopped, released a breath. “Awake.”

Spock’s breath hitched. In Jim’s blue eyes he saw fear, concern, worry, and…affection so potent it made Spock’s heart rate increase. And such vulnerability.

Jim’s gaze dropped from Spock’s. “I’ll go get Bones.”

“Captain—”

Jim paused, licked his lips, and then smiled. “I’m glad you’re going to be okay.”

And then he was gone, replaced by Dr. McCoy a moment later.

“Spock, how are you feeling?”

“A little…unsettled, but nothing I cannot handle. How long have I been out?”

“Four days,” the doctor replied. “You were attacked by one of those horned things. Gored you.”

“And the captain? Was he hurt?”

“No, Spock. He spent most of the time you were out hovering around here.”

Spock glanced at the chair and saw a blanket lay on it. “He slept here?”

McCoy snorted. “If you can call it sleeping. I doubt he got much.” He flipped a switch and Spock’s bed rose so that Spock was in a sitting position. “Better?”

“Indeed.”

“If everything checks out, I’ll release you tomorrow to your quarters.”

“I am certain I can be released to them today.”

“I’m just as certain I’m the one with the medical degree.”

Spock protested no further but his mind was on Jim and the emotions he had seen in the other man’s eyes.

****

Spock waited until the following evening before pressing the issue of what he had seen in his captain’s eyes. True to his word, the doctor had released him in the morning and he’d spent much of his time in his quarters resting and meditating. Once Nyota had stopped by to check on him.

He was about to pay the captain a visit when his door chimed.

“Enter,” he ordered, expecting Nyota again or even Dr. McCoy.

It was Jim. And he had removed his gold shirt. The black undershirt was clinging to him like a second skin. And Spock wasn’t sure why he had never noticed that the captain’s pants were really rather tight and left nothing to the imagination either in the front or back of his trousers.

“Captain,” he managed to say calmly.

“How are you feeling? Bones said he released you this morning.”

“Much improved though still a bit weak.”

“Yeah, you shouldn’t have.” Jim looked away over Spock’s shoulder. “But thanks.”

“He was going directly for your heart,” Spock said quietly.

Jim stared at him intently. “And almost got yours instead.”

“A chance I was willing to take.”

Jim’s tongue darted out as he stepped closer. “I don’t—you shouldn’t.”

Spock shook his head. “The needs of the—”

“I’m not the many.”

“One outweigh the needs of the many.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “Oh.”

“It is not logical.” He shrugged slightly. “Yet it was what I thought at the time.”

“I couldn’t live with myself if you died in my place,” Jim whispered.

“Then it is true.”

“What?”

“What I saw in your eyes.”

Jim stepped so close Spock could feel his body heat. “What did you see?”

“My regard returned.”

Jim closed his eyes and leaned into Spock. “I can’t bear life without you.”

Spock’s arms closed around Jim. “Nor can I without you.”

Jim laughed lightly against Spock’s throat. “Can I stay? I mean just to sleep by your side.”

“Yes, you can stay. Forever, ashayam.”


	3. The End of Summer Barbecue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> End of the Summer Barbecue and An Unexpected Kiss

Jim leaned over the wall of the patio and looked up and down the street. He sighed in disappointment.

“What’s wrong with you?” His best friend, Leonard “Bones” McCoy, asked, coming up behind him.

He licked his lips and turned to face Bones. “I invited someone to the barbecue. I really hoped he was coming.”

“He?” Bones smirked. “Got yourself a little crush, Jim?”

“Maybe, I don’t know.”

“Who is it?”

Jim shifted uneasily on the patio. A few feet away their friends were standing at the grill cooking burgers and hot dogs. “Spock,” he whispered.

“What? Who?”

“Spock,” Jim said a little louder.

“ _Professor_  Spock? The hobgoblin?”

“Bones, he’s not—Spock!”

Spock was actually now standing in front of them. His eyebrow was raised and his hands were behind his back. Jim had no idea how much he’d actually overheard.

“Hi,” Jim said, feeling himself turn a bright shade of red. “Glad you could make it. This is, uh, this is Leonard McCoy. A doctor. Friend.”

“Doctor.”

“Professor.” Bones’ tone was just this side of insolent. He glanced at Jim with obvious disapproval. “I’m going to go talk to the guys.”

Spock watched him walk away. “I sense I am unwelcome.”

“No. No. That’s just him.”

“You did not tell him you invited me?”

“Well.” Jim shrugged. “It’s not like I couldn’t invite whoever. And crap.”

Spock arched a brow.

“I just realized I forgot to get any veggies burgers. You are a veggie—I mean vegetarian, right? I mean obviously you’re not a vegetable.” Oh shut up, Jim. God.

“I am a vegetarian, yes.”

“Okay.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “What, um. Want to go to the store with me? It’s just up the street.”

“Very well.”

There was a gate on the patio, so Jim just opened it and he and Spock walked out and down the street. He supposed he should have informed Bones, but really it was hard to think around Spock. Jim was really into him and he always seemed to be making an idiot out of himself around the Vulcan.

Jim kept glancing at Spock, but Spock didn’t say a word as they made it to the tiny store. They didn’t have the best selection but they were the closest.

He stopped in the small produce section at the broccoli. “You want some of this? We could probably roast it or something.”

Spock nodded.

Jim reached for it just as Spock also reached for it. Their fingers touched. They both froze, the vegetable momentarily forgotten as their fingers continued to touch. Really kind of intimately.

Jim licked his lips. “Is that—Spock, are you—”

“Kissing you? Yes.”

“Oh.”

“Jim, I accepted your invitation to the get-together because I am just as interested in you as you are in me,” Spock said quietly.

“Oh. Geez.” He leaned over and crushed Spock’s lips with his. Then he pulled back, feeling his face heat. “Sorry. I know—um, Vulcans don’t like public displays, do they?”

“We do not. However, there appears to be no one around.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah?” He kissed Spock again softly. Then he looked down at their still touching hands. “So, um, I guess we have to go to that barbecue, huh?”

“It would be the polite thing, yes.”

Jim sighed. He finally moved his fingers from Spock’s and stuck the broccoli in the hand held basket he carried. “You’re right.”

“However, after it is over, you could come to my apartment for coffee,” Spock offered.

“Y-Yeah? I’d like that.”

“We will have to purchase some, however, as I do not currently have any.”

Jim’s eyes widened. “Oh shit.”

“Jim?”

“I didn’t bring my wallet. I don’t have any credits with me to pay for this.” Jim rolled his eyes at himself. “I’ll have to run back—”

“I will purchase the items.”

“But, you shouldn’t have to. You’re supposed to be our guest.” Always making an idiot of himself in front of Spock.

“I do not mind,” Spock told him.

“Thanks.” Jim smiled. “I was really hoping to impress you. Guess I failed at that, huh?”

Spock’s lips curved very slightly. “I would not be so sure.”

Jim looked around the little store and seeing no one else, he risked another kiss. Spock hummed and curled his hand around the back of Jim’s neck.

Jim sighed into the kiss. Without moving very far away, he whispered, “So the barbecue, huh?”

“Well…perhaps not.”

 


	4. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Original Series Spirk

He hadn’t gotten his memories back still. Not all of them. He knew my name, yes. And that had given me such a head rush. I could think positively again. His memories would return. I had to believe that.  

We’d saved the world…again. Even the whales. I was ready for rest.  A break.   

I wasn’t sure why I thought dinner on the balcony of my apartment was a good idea. It was a little cold outside. But I’d already set everything up on the little round table set with two chairs when my doorbell rang.

With a shake of my head at my own foolishness I went back inside and to the door. I smiled as soon as I opened it. He was dressed in a white robe tied with a sash and upon his head was a hood. His pointed ears still peaked out.

“Mister Spock.”

“Admiral.”

He stepped inside, his gaze going toward the balcony with the set table at once. He arched an elegant Vulcan brow.  “I take it we are dining al fresco.”

“If you don’t mind.”

“I do not. What are we having?”

“Creamy squash soup, barley risotto, and fresh berries for dessert.”

“You made all that, Admiral?”

I grinned. “Yes, Spock. I sometimes cooked before for us.”

Spock tilted his head. “I do not recall.”

I tried not to let the smile slip from my face. This was hard for him. For both of us. “It’s all right. Why don’t you go sit and I’ll bring out the food.”

Spock went out onto the balcony and dutifully sat down. I went into the kitchen. Bones had been by earlier to ask me what I hoped to get out of this little get-together tonight—I tried not to think of it as a date, not yet—and I hadn’t given him an answer. We both knew what I wanted though.

I brought the soup and risotto out in larger bowls to dish out of and after I set them on the table, I sat across from Spock.

“Is it too cold out here?”

“It is acceptable.”

He was watching me, as though he couldn’t quite figure out what my purpose was.  It was making me a little nervous. I stood.

He looked at me in surprise. “Admiral?”

“Jim, Spock. Remember?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to put some music on. It’s too quiet.” I slipped into the apartment and put on some classical music from many hundreds of years ago. It was romantic, though I hadn’t deliberately chosen it to be so.

“How’s the soup?” I asked as I returned to my seat.

“It is delicious.”

I couldn’t help but smile. I had gone to a lot of trouble and really didn’t want to hear it was just ‘acceptable’ or ‘satisfactory’.    

We ate in silence for several minutes and then Spock froze and put his spoon down on the table. He was staring at me with something like confusion.

“Spock?”

“This song.”

“Yes?” It was Clair de Lune, one of my personal favorites, and I held my breath, waiting.

“We have…danced to it.”

I smiled, the head rush was back. “Yes. We did.”

Spock pushed back in his chair and stood. He held out his hand. “Would you like to do so now?”

“Dinner?”

Spock seemed to consider this. “It can wait.”

I stood and took his hand as he swung me gently into his arms.

“Jim?” His voice was low and a little rumbly.

“Yes, Spock?” We had begun to dance in the little space on the balcony. There was not much but it was enough.

“I remember.”


	5. Mount Destiny

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snowed in at a Mountain Cabin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was supposed to post this Friday but ah well... I cheated. I am sure my challenger will forgive me.  
> Fairly long for a One-Shot

“It’s really coming down out there.” Jim looked out the frosted window as he pulled his wet gloves off. The snow had started almost immediately after they left the city of Ashwood Bay, the capitol city of the planet, Oasis Iv. Oasis, Jim’s ass. It was just your run of the mill tourist trap planet as far as Jim could tell. Wasn’t even as good as Risa.

Spock did not bother to join Jim at the window. Instead, his first officer had made a beeline for the fireplace in the cabin.

The cabin was in the mountain resort area of Oasis Iv. A small city called Mt. Destiny. Corny as hell, Jim thought. He didn’t even remember whose idea it was for them to spend their shore leave in a mountain resort called Mt. Destiny. Not his and not Spock’s, that was for sure.

They were still waiting for the others. The two of them had ended their single business meeting they’d been forced to have while there early and so Jim had suggested to Spock they just make their way to the cabin.

Bones, Uhura, Scotty, Chekov, Sulu and Carol were supposed to be joining them. Spock and Uhura would take one room, Bones and Carol another, then Chekov and Sulu. Jim was rooming with Scotty, simply because there were only four rooms and everyone else was already paired up. Chekov and Sulu were supposedly platonic and maybe they were, but Jim wasn’t sure there wasn’t something there.

Jim turned away from the sight of the snow falling to check out what Spock was doing. His Vulcan first officer was bent over trying to start a fire and Jim was trying not to check out his ass. It was bad form to have the hots for your very unavailable first officer. Of course if anyone would do what they weren’t supposed to do it would be Jim.

“Need help?”

Jim knew how to start fireplaces. He’d grown up in Riverside. But just as the words came out, the fireplace flared to life with a big, bright fire within.

“Guess not.” Jim shrugged out of his coat. “You’re being very quiet, Spock. Is your tongue frozen?”

“Vulcans are capable of—”

“Being big pains in the ass. Yes, I know,” Jim mumbled.

“Captain?”

“Nothing, Mister Spock.”

Jim hung up his coat on a coat rack and then went over to the controls for the heater. He was studying them to see how they operated when he felt Spock’s breath on him. He looked over his shoulder at the Vulcan.

Spock’s eyebrow rose. “I wondered if you needed assistance, Captain.”

Jim opened his mouth to say something about calling him Jim on shore leave, but he closed his mouth and changed his mind. Spock was Spock. Why change him? He turned the switch for the heat.

“Nope. Got it.”

Spock nodded. “I have already inspected the kitchen and found it well stocked as it indicated it would be. I have started to heat water for tea, but there is also a coffeemaker, if you desire.”

“Okay.” Jim went into the kitchen and Spock followed closely behind. “Going to keep wearing your coat?”

Spock looked down at the coat he wore. “Negative.” He removed it and hung it beside Jim’s on the rack. Just then, Spock’s communicator beeped. “Nyota?”

Jim shook his head and began to fill the coffeemaker with water as he watched the snow from the kitchen window. It definitely resembled a Terran mountain area with the snow and cabins. Was supposed to be cozy and outdoorsy he supposed. Come to think of it, he was pretty sure Bones wouldn’t have chosen this for shore leave either. So, who the fuck did?

“Captain?”

“Uh, yeah?” Jim turned from the window to scoop coffee into the filter.

“Nyota says they are delayed in Ashwood Bay. No transportation is currently allowed to come to Mt. Destiny.”

Jim frowned. “For how long?”

“She said they are saying just for a couple of hours. She will let us know as soon as they are on their way.”

“All right. Well, I guess we can take our bags to our rooms and maybe then make something to eat. I’m kind of hungry.”

“Very well.” Spock picked up his bag as well as Jim’s.

“I can get my own bag, Spock.”

“There is no need, Captain.”

Jim held back a sigh and followed Spock to the stairs that led to the second floor where the bedrooms were situated. They’d already chosen their rooms based on the listing they’d found online. There were king-sized beds in the two couple rooms and two double beds in the other rooms. Chekov and Sulu wanted the room with a view of the back of the house and the little frozen lake. Jim hadn’t given a rat’s ass, so he let them have their way.

Spock went past the room that was for Bones and Carol, then into the next one with the king-sized bed. Jim refused to look inside that room because he really didn’t care to see the bed Spock and Uhura would be doing the nasty in. No, sir.

Spock emerged immediately, with one less bag, and then went to the room facing the front of the house with Jim’s bag. “Which bed did you choose, Captain?”

“The one closer to the bathroom.”

Spock set Jim’s bag on that bed. “Is the room to your satisfaction?”

Jim glanced around it. It was a room. Whatever. He eyed Spock. “What are you, the bellhop? I hope you aren’t expecting a tip.”

“You seem displeased with our choice of shore leave destination, Captain.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “That’s an understatement. Who chooses a mountain cabin over an ocean paradise?” He exited the room and headed for the stairs to the first floor. “Whose idea was it anyway?”

“I think it was Ensign Chekov who made the suggestion.”

“Should have known. He’s all used to Siberia and shit.” Jim swayed a bit at the top of the stairs as his vision went blurry.

“Captain?”

Jim shook his head and the weird dizziness passed. He walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. The coffee was now ready.

“Are you all right, Captain? You went very white a moment ago.”

“Was just a little dizzy. It’s over.”

“You were dizzy during the meeting in Ashwood Bay also.”

“I really don’t need two doctors hounding me, Spock.” Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “Think I’m coming down with something.”

“And Dr. McCoy let you travel?” Spock’s voice was just shy of demanding.

“I didn’t even tell him.”

Spock’s eyes narrowed.

“It’s no big deal. I don’t feel that bad.” Jim opened a cabinet looking for a mug for his coffee. “Besides, I’m on shore leave so I’m gonna get plenty of rest.”

“What are your symptoms?”

He sighed. “I don’t have any symptoms, Spock.” As he pulled out a mug and set it on the counter, Spock’s hand slammed down on his forehead. Jim shrugged him away. “Do you mind?”

“You may be feverish.”

“And I may have Klingon ancestors.”

“Not likely.”

“Spock, come on. I love you and everything, but lay off.”

Spock’s brows furrowed and Jim heard what he just said.

“Like, you know, a brother. A friend. A best buddy. A brother from another mother. Or something.” Jim turned toward the coffeemaker and lifted the carafe to pour his coffee. “How long before the others arrive, do you think?”

“Nyota said she would let me know,” Spock reminded him. “Recently you were on Lavaria 12.”

“Uh-huh. I know.” Jim checked the fridge. “Please tell me the rental company stocked cream for my coffee.”

“Yes, it is there.” Spock leaned past him, actually very near to where Jim stood and reached in for the cream. He placed it in Jim’s hand.

Jim thought he ought to say something about personal space, but he decided he was too tired.

“Lavaria 12 is known to have a flu-like virus.”

Jim ignored that with a dismissive chop of his hand. “I could make eggs.”

“Sit over there in that chair,” Spock said, pointing at a big, plush chair that looked absurdly comfortable and Jim wanted to have its babies. Okay, maybe not. Close though. “I will make the eggs.”

Jim thought about arguing. But damn he wanted that chair like he wanted to breathe. So he smiled at Spock, or at least he thought he did, and he went to sit in his new favorite chair. He was instantly surrounded by comfort and warmth. “Can we move this to the bridge, do you think?”

“Doubtful.” Spock walked over to Jim and took his mug of coffee from his hands and then replaced it with another cup.

“What’s this?” Jim asked suspiciously.

“Tea, Captain. I believe it will be better for you than coffee.”

Jim eyed it, took a sip. “Kind of good.”

“It is orange spice.”

“Oh. Well. It’s not so bad.”

Spock nodded and turned back to the kitchen.

Jim snuggled further into the chair and took sips from his tea.

“Captain.” Soft, almost a whisper.

“Yeah, baby?”

“Captain.” A sterner voice.

Jim blinked his eyes open. “Spock?”

“Correct.” Spock was crouched down next to Jim’s chair. “You are very warm. I believe you have a fever.”

“No. That’s not possible.”

Spock arched his brow. “I have heard from Nyota.”

“On their way?”

“Negative. The storm has worsened and they are unable to make it. They’ve booked rooms at a resort in Ashwood Bay. According to what Nyota was advised, this snowstorm is expected to last for the next seventy-two hours.”

Jim’s mouth fell open. “Seventy-two?”

“Yes, Captain. We have more than enough food and supplies for the two of us. I have also been in contact with Dr. McCoy. He called you a damn fool.”

“What for?”

“For not advising him of your illness. I have made you chicken soup.”

“What? How?”

“Unfortunately from a can but there was no other method to make it quickly. You are to have bed rest as much as possible and plenty of fluids. Dr. McCoy will see to you as soon as the storm lets up.”

“I don’t feel so bad.”

“You look terrible.”

“You’re supposed to lie.”

“Vulcans do not lie.” Spock took the empty teacup away from Jim and handed him an extra-large mug. “This is the chicken soup.”

“Looks like it’s mostly broth.”

“Indeed. I took out the bits of questionable chicken as well as the soggy noodles.”

“I’m supposed to eat this?”

“It claims on the can that it is just like your Terran grandmother would make.”

“Doubtful,” Jim said, taking a sip. He grimaced. “Salty.”

“I can attempt to make something else.”

“Nah, nah, this will do.” He took another couple of sips. “Grows on you.”

Spock straightened and grabbed a dining room chair which he brought close to Jim. “I am concerned for your welfare.”

“It’s just a little cold or something.”

“I hope so. Lavarian Flu can be dangerous, Captain.”

“Spock.” Jim shook his head. “I’m sorry your shore leave was ruined.”

“I am doing exactly what I should be doing on shore leave…resting. I did not plan on any particular activity.”

“Well, but you’re stuck here with only me. I know that wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Vulcans are nothing if not adaptable, Captain. After you are finished with your soup, I would advise you to lie down.”

Jim nodded. “Might be a good idea. Getting a bit of a headache.”

Spock took the empty mug from him and Jim struggled to his feet. Jim stumbled. Spock’s hand shot out to steady him.

“I will help you get upstairs.”

“I can make it,” Jim protested.

“Maintaining your stubbornness will not be helpful,” Spock said coolly.

Before he could take even one step, Spock suddenly scooped Jim up in his arms, like he was carrying a bride or something.

“Spock!”

“Please do not shout, Captain, I have sensitive hearing and you are quite close to my ears.” Spock began to carry him up the stairs to the second floor.

Jim frowned as he was pretty sure Spock carried him into the room that had been meant for Spock and Uhura. Sure enough, Jim was gently laid down on the king-sized bed.

“Isn’t this yours and Uhura’s room?”

“Clearly Nyota is not here,” Spock replied. “This is a more comfortable and spacious bed.” He maneuvered Jim until he had pulled down the covers, then he tucked Jim in beneath them. “Sleep, Captain.”

“You know this is shore leave and we’re the only ones even here.”

Spock stared at him. “Very well. Sleep, Jim.”

Jim smiled a little as he felt his eyelids close. “Night, sweetheart.”

****

Spock decided to use the room that had been meant for Chekov and Sulu as his meditation room. Since the captain was resting, he had time to meditate. There was little else to do with just the two of them and Jim not well. Spock’s PADD was working only sporadically in the snowstorm. He had checked in with Nyota a short time ago but even that had been breaking up. Spock knew that McCoy was concerned for Jim and Spock shared that concern, but at the moment, Jim was asleep.

He had meditated for an hour when he rose from his mat, folding it up as he went. His mind was clearer than it had been only a few hours before. Spock immediately went to check on Jim and was dismayed to find the bed empty. He checked the other side of the bed in case Jim had rolled over and fallen on to the ground. But no, the room was unoccupied. He checked all the rooms upstairs with quick efficiency and found them all unoccupied.

“Jim?” He hurried down stairs but also could not find the captain. Then he noticed the front door was cracked open. Spock’s heart nearly stopped. He rushed outside. There on the snow-covered ground just outside the front door lay Jim, wearing nothing but boxer briefs. Heart in his mouth, Spock bent down and scooped him up into his arms, returning into the warmth of the house.

Spock returned him to bed, grateful for the rise and fall of Jim’s chest. He tucked even more blankets around his captain and sat on the edge of the bed, very close to him. He placed his hand on Jim’s forehead. He was still very warm.

“Ashayam,” Spock whispered, brushing cold, wet hair from Jim’s forehead. Now like this, Spock could be a little indulgent. There was no one around to guess his feelings for the man lying in bed. No one to mock such un-Vulcanlike emotions.

The only one who officially knew was Nyota, of course. They had ended their romantic relationship over it, but certainly not their friendship. But Spock suspected that the doctor had guessed by the knowing smirks he’d sent Spock’s way many times.

A part of Spock—no doubt the human part— had hoped to reveal his regard for Jim during this shore leave. Sometimes Spock believed Jim returned his regard and just wouldn’t say and then other times, Spock doubted all he had believed.

“Spock?” Jim murmured softly.

“Yes, Jim?”

“Cold.”

“You went out into the snow,” Spock told him. “You will warm up soon.”

“Snow? On the Enterprise?”

“We are not on the Enterprise. We are on Mt. Destiny.”

“Destiny? Like you and me?”

“Captain?”

“Old you told me I was your destiny or something. Your teela.”

Spock sucked in a breath. “T’hy’la?”

Jim nodded slightly. “Yeah, I think so.”

With a shaking hand Spock rested his hand on Jim’s warm face. “You should rest, ashayam. You will feel better when you wake.”

“’Kay. There’s something I’m supposed to tell you.”

“Is there?”

Jim’s tongue came out to lick at his dry lips. “Can’t remember.”

“Sleep. I will watch over you.”

Jim murmured and turned over onto his side. “Love you.”

****

It was light when Jim woke, but with just his head turned toward the window in the room he could see the snow was still coming down heavily. Spock lay on top of the covers next to him, sleeping soundly. His dark hair stuck up at a really cute angle.

Jim was hot and sweaty, but he had a feeling his fever had broken. He felt much better. Not totally great, but a lot improved. Jim pushed the heavy bundle of covers off him, obviously courtesy of Spock, before they cooked him.

The movement stirred his first officer, who slowly blinked his eyes opened. “Jim?”

“Good morning.”

Spock sat up and wiped his hand over his face in a gesture so human it made Jim smile. “How do you feel?”

“Better. I think the fever’s eased.”

“I am gratified to hear that.”

“I’d really love a shower.”

“Do you think you should?”

“Spock, they have real water showers here. I’m not gonna give up that opportunity just because I’m a little weak.”

“I could assist—”

Jim laughed. “I can take a shower. You’re welcome to linger outside the door for sounds of me falling though if you really have to.”

Spock did not look happy at all about any of it but Jim just shook his head, got out of bed and headed for the door.

“Where are you going? There is a shower in the bathroom here.”

“My clothes are in the other room, remember? I’ll just take a shower there. It’s fine, Spock. Really.”

Jim felt just a smidge lightheaded but it was nothing he couldn’t handle. He took a nice hot shower, dried off, and then pulled on jeans and a T-shirt. It might be cold outside, but it sure as hell wasn’t inside the cabin. He found Spock in the kitchen, his hair wet as though he too had showered, wearing one of those sweaters he seemed to favor when not wearing his uniform, and a pair of brown slacks.

“I am attempting breakfast,” Spock declared.

“Smells pretty good.” Jim looked over his shoulder at the eggs in the pan.

“You should sit.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “I’m not going to collapse.”

“You have once.”

“Huh?”

“Last night I found you had escaped the cabin and landed in the snow.”

Jim blinked in surprise. “I don’t remember that.”

Spock arched a brow. “I am aware. Go sit.”

Jim thought about arguing but what the hell. So he went back to sit in his comfy chair until breakfast was served. He checked in with Bones after that, although communication was iffy, and then went to sit in the living room in front of the fire Spock had built that morning.

“Dr. McCoy was angry?” Spock asked, dropping onto the sofa next to Jim.

“He’s always angry.” Jim shrugged. “Still, sounds like he and Carol are having a really nice time.” He winced. “Sorry again.”

“Captain?”

Great, back to that.

“You missing out on having time with Uhura. I guess that’s important for couples or whatever.” Like he’d know.

“We are not a romantic couple.” Spock’s voice was very soft, almost impossible to hear.

“Since when?” Okay, so Jim might have yelled that.

“It has been a number of months,” Spock replied, elusively.

“Months? Did you say months?”

“Indeed.”

“But you were sharing a room.”

“We are able to sleep platonically together and the sleeping arrangements made the most sense.”

Jim’s head was swimming a bit and he didn’t think it was from any illness. “Spock?”

“Yes?”

“Last night I dreamed you called me ashayam. That’s an endearment, right?”

“Yes.” Spock paused. “And it was not a dream.”

Jim’s pulse quickened as he stared at Spock. “I also dreamed I told you I loved you.”

Those incredible dark eyes were so focused on Jim, he could barely breathe.

“That was not a dream,” Spock whispered. Then more hesitantly. “Was it?”

“No.”

Without really seeing him do it, Spock moved closer to Jim on the sofa. Maybe Vulcans were magic. Spock, anyway.

“Do you know the word you used last night?” Spock asked.

“What word?”

“T’hy’la. You know this word?”

Jim licked his lips and nodded. “Before the older you passed away he told me that the Jim Kirk of his time was his teela.”

“T’hy’la.”

“Yeah. T’hy’la.”

Spock’s hand touched Jim’s face, his fingers spreading out. “You are…mine.”

“Yours?”

Spock leaned his forehead against Jim’s. “Very much so.”

****

Jim and Spock met up with the others in Ashwood Bay two days later. It was, fortunately, time to return to the Enterprise. Jim loved his ship and could never be sorry to return to it. 

“So?” Bones prompted when he saw them. He had already taken out a tricorder to run over Jim, who pushed him away.  

Jim gave his bestie his favorite innocent look. “So?”

“How’d it go being all cooped up in a snowy cabin?” Bones demanded.

“Oh.” Jim shrugged. “I was out of it most of the time. And then when I wasn’t it was pretty boring. Spock and I played some chess. I beat him.”

Bones frowned. “That was it?”

“Yeah? What else?’ Jim shook his head. He flipped open his communicator. “Energize.”

When they reemerged on the Enterprise, Uhura stopped Jim with a hand on his arm.

“Lieutenant?”

“You know, Captain, I was reading about a legend on Mt. Destiny down on the planet.”

“A legend?”

“It was said that fated lovers would be united there on Mt. Destiny.”

Jim burst out laughing. “What tourist bullshit is that?”

Uhura rolled her eyes and sighed. She stomped over to Bones. “You were right, Leonard. The two of them are completely clueless. Unbelievable. Such a waste.”

They walked out of the transporter room, followed by the others.

Jim smirked and turned to Spock. “Shall we?”

“Indeed, Captain.”

They walked down the corridor to the turbolift.

“Chess, Spock?”

Spock’s lips curved ever so slightly. “That would be agreeable.”

“Excellent. After all, it’s your turn to beat me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I wrote this whole thing without a single kiss between them. Interesting.


	6. Cock Blocking

“Okay, Bones. That one. You or me?”

Dr. McCoy turned with a frown and studied the humanoid the captain pointed out. She had just entered the bar. “I don’t know, Jim.”

“Captain?”

“Hmm?” Jim didn’t turn to look at me, he continued to openly stare at the woman.

“Am I to understand the purpose of this exercise is to estimate which one of you the subject in question would like to engage in intercourse with?”

“You know he doesn’t quite say intercourse the way anyone else does,” McCoy declared. “He puts a definite spin of disapproval on it.”

“I am well aware that humans place significance on various sexual activities.”

“I can see why Uhura broke up with you.”

“Bones.” The captain's tone was a warning.

“Dr. McCoy.”

“What?” the doctor asked.

“The answer to the captain’s query as to whom the female would rather engage in intercourse with.”

Jim looked at me for the first time. “How do you know that?”

“I am a telepath, Captain,” I stated simply.

“Does it work that way?”

I arched a brow.

“Well.” Jim turned back to the bar, brooding. He rubbed his neck.

“How about that one, Jim?” The doctor nudged Jim’s shoulder as they both turned to gaze upon a young male Andorian making his way out of the hallway where the restrooms were located.

“Also Dr. McCoy.”

“What? Him too?” Jim shook his head. “He was cute too.”

“Guess I’m more desirable than you are, Jimmy,” McCoy cackled.

“Crazy night.”

“Oh. Human, blonde, leggy. Just walked in.”

Jim turned toward the entrance to check out their new potential conquest. He immediately broke out into a grin. “Wow.”

“I’ll say wow. Now that is one fine lady.”

“She thinks you are attractive as well, Dr. McCoy.”

Jim turned to look at me, his mouth hanging open. “Really?”

I shrugged.

“Damn it. This is depressing.” Jim finished his drink. “I’m going back to the ship. Bones, whoever you decide on, have fun. And don’t be late. We’re leaving this space station first thing in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“You coming with me, Spock?”

“Affirmative.”

“One second, Jim. I want a quick word with Spock,” Dr. McCoy said.

I inclined my head but followed the doctor out of the captain’s earshot. “Yes, doctor?”

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re doing.”

“Clarify.”

“Your telepathy doesn’t work like that. You’re cock blocking Jim.” McCoy smirked.

“I am quite certain I don’t even know what that means, doctor. If you will excuse me, the captain is waiting.”

“He sure is. You might want to tell him. Just some friendly advice.”

I shook my head and returned to the captain.

“What was that about?”

“I am sure I do not know, Captain. Shall we?”

Jim nodded. “This place blows.”

“It does indeed.”


	7. The Morning After the Cock Blocking

“Good morning, sunshine.” Jim plopped his food tray down across from me with a loud smack.

I winced, watching as Jim sat. “Gotta be so loud, Jim?”

“Oh, one of those days.” Jim grinned. He eyed my plate. “Are you going to eat those blueberries?”

I pushed the bowl toward Jim. “Why are you so cheerful anyway?”

“Why not? We’re leaving the space station. On our way to a new adventure.”

I grimaced and grabbed my coffee cup, holding it in front of me as a shield to protect me from grinning idiots.

“Who pissed in your coffee anyway?”

“Do you mind? You say the grossest shit.”

Jim laughed. “Hung over, my dear?”

“Yeah. Damn it. I thought I was too old for all that drunken fool crap.”

“You are.”

I picked up a berry and tossed it at Jim. I surveyed Jim’s plate and removed the bowl of cut up mango.

“Hey!”

“I haven’t tested you for allergies related to mangos. So nope. Not until I do.” I took a bite. “Not bad. It actually tastes a little like an actual mango.”

“I’ve had mangos on Earth before.”

I smirked. “Prove it.”

Jim stared at me. “How the hell can I prove it? A damn holo pic?”

“You got any?”

“No,” Jim replied sullenly.

I ate the rest of the mango. “Fair trade for the blueberries.”

“You just like being mean to me when you feel like crap.”

I thought about it. “Yeah, maybe.”

“So?” Jim waggled his eyebrows.

“So what?”

“Which one got to experience the wonderful hands of Dr. Leonard McCoy?”

I snorted. “I’m not sure that’s any of your business, Jim.”

“Oh, it definitely isn’t. I wanna know anyway.” He popped a blueberry into his mouth. 

“Maybe none of them.”

“Come on, Bones. You came back all wasted.”

“Maybe because none of them would sleep with me.”

Jim snorted. “Doubtful. You’re hot, doc.”

“I knew you had a thing for me.”

 “Who doesn’t?” Jim grinned. “All right. So you aren’t going to tell me. Keep your secrets then. Time to get busy.” Jim stood. “By the way.”

“By the way what?”

“I did get lucky with someone from the bar after all.”

I frowned. “You did? Which one?”

“The one with the pointy ears.”

“The one with the—”

The door of the mess hall opened and Jim glanced toward the door. I followed Jim’s gaze. Spock was standing there. I noticed a suspicious looking mark on Spock’s throat, just under his left ear. I narrowed my eyes.

Jim winked. “See you, Bones. Duty calls.”

I shook my head and sighed. “About damn time.”


	8. Here With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This continues the story that started in Mt Destiny

Jim’s fingers clawed at the sheets as Spock moved within him, thrust deeper and deeper, drawing whimpers from within Jim, pants of breath. He was covered in a sheen of sweat—they were in Spock’s quarters, and even with the temperature lowered, Jim found it too warm—and Spock was sliding against him. His fist stilled on his dick as his balls pulled tight and he came all over Spock’s bed. Above him, Spock’s thrusts become frantic, harder, impossibly deep as his fingers dug into Jim’s hipbones. With a growl, Spock emptied into him.

Spock withdrew from him and lay beside him. Jim turned over onto his back when he could move again. He was still a little out of breath, but in a good way.

“Thanks,” Jim murmured. He turned his head, saw Spock blinking rapidly.

“Is it usual for humans to thank their lovers for providing a satisfactory sexual experience?”

Jim chuckled. “Well. I don’t know. What about you and—”  _Don’t go there, don’t go there. What are you stupid, Jim?_

“Nyota?” Spock supplied obliviously.

Jim tried not to tense. After all mention of Spock’s past relationship with Nyota was his own fault, wasn’t it? “Unless you’ve had others besides her, yeah, I, uh, guess.”

“I cannot recall a time when Nyota thanked me.”

Okay, so unrealistically, part of Jim had hoped Spock would say, ‘oh, we never had sex. Our romantic relationship was all pretend or old-fashioned or something’, not that he expected Spock would say those exact words. But some sort of variation anyway.

“You have thanked me every time.”

Not that there’d been a million times. Jim thought about it. Most of the time on Mt. Destiny he’d been feeling like crap. They’d done it once before they had to return to Ashwood Bay to meet up with the others. And okay, yeah, the words, ‘oh my God, thank you’ might have been said. But who could blame Jim anyway? He’d wanted Spock since—well, a long time.

Once they’d gotten back to the Enterprise, which was now two weeks ago, they’d had sex immediately. Yeah, he guessed he’d thanked Spock then too. And for the past fourteen days—well, they hadn’t done it every day, maybe nine of those fourteen days. Which, hell, was a lot, Jim realized. Probably especially for Spock. But it wasn’t like he was ever going to ask what was normal for Spock and whatshername.

“Jim?”

“Has it really been every time?”

“Indeed.”

“Sorry. I’ll try to curtail it.”

“It was not a complaint, Jim.”

“Well, maybe not. But it’s sort of dorky of me anyway.” Jim turned over onto his side and smiled at Spock. “Ready for New Vulcan?”

They had to take some supplies to the colony, currently being the closest starship to the planet, and while they were there they planned to dine with Sarek, Spock’s father. Jim had never dined with his significant other’s parent before. He was a little nervous about it and trying not to be.

“All preparations have been made,” Spock replied.

“Of course.” Jim sat up and rose from Spock’s bed, searching for his clothes. “I should go take a shower and get ready for duty.”

“As should I.”

“See you for breakfast?”

“Very well. Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“It really was not a complaint.” Spock held out two fingers and Jim met them with a smile.

****

“There is no need to be nervous meeting my father, Jim,” Spock told him in a hushed voice as they approached Sarek’s home.

“No?”

Jim thought it must be weird to be approaching a home that Spock could never claim as his own. That home had been destroyed with Vulcan. He didn’t comment on it to Spock, of course. Sometimes Spock got very quiet when the subject of Vulcan or his mother came up. More quiet than usual.

“Certainly not. My father respects you.”

“Well, even if he does, it has to be strange for him to meet his son’s—”

“Jim—”

The door of the home opened to reveal Sarek waiting for them. His expression was blank, but his eyes held unexpected warmth when he looked to Spock.

“Welcome to my home.”

Sarek stepped aside to allow them entrance.

“Captain Kirk, it is pleasant to see you again.”

“Thank you, sir. And you also.”

“I offer you the use of my name.”

“Thank you, sir—ah…Sarek. And you may call me Jim.”

Sarek inclined his head. He gestured to a table that had been already set with dishes and platters as well as a pot of tea. “Come, the meal is prepared.”

After they had gotten a few pleasantries out of the way, Sarek said, “I am rather surprised that Nyota did not accompany you, Spock.”

Spock’s gaze lowered as he picked up his teacup. He did not immediately reply. Jim blinked in surprise, both at the question and Spock’s reaction.

Frowning, it was Jim who asked, “Why would she?”

“If she is to be Spock’s potential bondmate, I would like to get to know her better,” Sarek replied.

Jim’s heart dropped into his stomach as he realized Spock hadn’t told Sarek he was seeing Jim. Or that he had even ended his relationship with Uhura. He felt himself turn red with embarrassment and he was pretty sure shame. Here he’d been nervous about meeting Spock’s father and what for? He was just Spock’s friend and commanding officer and nothing more as far as Sarek knew. Was Spock embarrassed by Jim or was it far more heartbreaking?  

“Jim, are you well?” Sarek asked, gazing at him. “You are quite flushed.”

Jim forced his best diplomatic smile. “I’m fine, Sarek. The dinner is delicious.”

Sarek nodded. “Vulcan dishes can be considered quite bland by human standards. My wife always thought so. She introduced me to several vegetarian dishes favored by humans, but I never acquired the skill to make them myself.”

“Well, perhaps if Nyota becomes Spock’s mate she might be able to prepare some similar dishes for you,” Jim said with deliberate cheerfulness. He ignored the wide-eyed look Spock gave him.

“Perhaps.”

When dinner was finished and Sarek offered them more tea in the living room area of his home, Jim waited for Spock to accept.

“You know, I actually received an urgent communication from the ship, so I can’t stay for tea.”

“You did? When? I will come—”

“No, no, Spock. You should stay. Spend some more time with your father.”

Spock searched his gaze. “If there is an urgent situation—”

“Just Starfleet business. You take your time, Mister Spock.”

Jim knew maybe he was running, but he felt like falling apart and the last thing he needed to do was fall apart in front of a couple of Vulcans. And anyway, whatever. He had no idea why Spock decided not to tell Sarek…anything. Maybe Spock had his reasons. Other than he just didn’t think Jim was long-term commitment.

But Spock had told Jim he was his t’hy’la. Which he thought was important or special. Jim really didn’t get it. If he was so special, why hadn’t Spock told his father?

When he reached his quarters, he pulled out the bottle of whiskey Bones had given him last Christmas. He preferred it over ice but he didn’t feel much like synthesizing ice so he just poured the whiskey in a glass and took a large swallow, feeling it burn down his throat.

Really, he should have guessed. Spock had never actually said they were dining with his father as a couple. He never said, ‘oh I want to introduce my t’hy’la to my father’. Jim had merely assumed that when Spock asked if he would like to join him for dinner with Sarek that’s what it meant.

There was some old saying his gran used to say about assuming that flitted through his mind briefly. He shook his head.

And to think he was nervous about meeting his boyfriend’s father.

Jim shook his head and gulped down more whiskey.

_“No one’s ever going to want you, Jim. You look good from the outside but once they learn about you on the inside, they can’t run fast enough,” Frank had told him._

It hadn’t ever mattered. Frank could shove his assessment of Jim up his ass. Because Jim didn’t want long term with anyone. Until he did. And for a moment he had believed all that ‘t’hy’la’ crap.

He had finished that first glass and was contemplating a second glass when someone attempted to access the door to his quarters. They failed.

“I locked it, you pointy-eared bastard.”

The door chimed.

Jim sighed and released it. The door opened and Spock stepped inside his quarters.

“You locked me out?” Spock asked, surprise evident on his face.

“No,” Jim denied. “Yes. Yes, I did.”

“May I query as to why?”

Jim turned his back on Spock. He reached for the bottle of whiskey.

“You are upset with me.” Spock took the bottle out of Jim’s hand.

“Do you mind?”

“Yes. I do not believe imbibing excessive alcohol will assist us in this situation.”

“Spock, this is not a good time. I have a headache.”

Spock’s fingers went immediately to Jim’s temples and massaged gently. Jim didn’t want it to feel so good. With extreme effort, he stepped away from Spock.

“Let’s talk about this later.”

He stared at Jim. “When?”

“I don’t know.”

“Unacceptable.” Spock took the glass out of Jim’s hand and put it on the desk. ”This is about my father.”

“No. It is about us. Or whatever us is. If there is an us.”

“Explain.”

“Okay. Fine. I felt like an idiot down there. Here I thought I was meeting your father—”

“Jim, you have already met my father on more than one occasion.”

“No! I have met Sarek. This was your father. Or I fucking thought so. But now I know not only did you not tell him about me, you didn’t even tell him you weren’t with Uhura anymore. He fucking talked about her being your mate.” Jim walked away from Spock, feeling hurt and anger mixing in a volatile mix. He rubbed his temples as he felt the headache getting worse. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.”

Spock took a step forward. “Clarify.”

Jim shook his head. “I believed you when you said all that crap on Mt. Destiny.”

Spock grasped Jim’s biceps and turned Jim to face him. “Ashal-veh, it was not ‘crap’.”

“No?”

Spock seemed to collect himself. “Your doubts are unfounded, Jim. This is new to me as well. My failure to inform my father prior to dinner of our change in status was not a reflection of my regard for you or your importance. I had not advised him of the dissolution of my romantic relationship with Nyota because it did not occur to me that he even considered a long term commitment with her a possibility. I had never indicated as much in my dealings with him. Therefore my first thought upon the end of my romantic partnership with Nyota was not to inform my father. I apologize. It was never meant to be hurtful toward you. I have corrected my father on all aspects of my current status.”

Jim’s anger waivered. “Why didn’t you tell him about me?”

“As I said, this is new for me. Having something as rare and wondrous as a t’hy’la is not the norm, even for Vulcans. I intended to explain while we were having tea with him.” Spock’s eyes were turbulent. “Do not end our relationship over this. Please.”

“I-I’m not.”

“I know you have considered it,” Spock said quietly. “I received the thought.”

Jim swallowed, all anger fading away at the tormented look in Spock’s beloved dark eyes. “I’m sorry. I was just…I was upset. I’ve never done any of this before. And sometimes I get crazy in my head.”

Spock pulled Jim close and wrapped his arms around him. His hold on Jim was very tight. “You really have no idea how precious you are to me.”

Jim closed his eyes, resting his head on Spock’s shoulder. “Yeah?”

Spock exhaled quietly. “Yes. My regard for you has been hidden within for a long time. It was never even possible in my limited experience that you would return that regard, even a tenth of the way I felt for you.”

“Spock,” Jim whispered. His chest felt like it was pulled tight. “I’m just…sometimes, I still don’t know why you’re here with me.”

He felt Spock tremble. “And sometimes I feel it is I who am unworthy of you, James T. Kirk.”

Jim snuggled closer, almost crawling up Spock’s body.

“I would bond with you, formally. In the way of Vulcan, before my father and the elders. Before our friends. For all to know you are mine.”

Jim laughed a little shakily. “Is that some sort of proposal?”

“Yes.”

Jim pulled back enough to look into Spock’s eyes. His breath caught. “I don’t know what to say.”

“I would prefer you would say yes.”

Jim smiled, his heart fluttering in his chest with something like hope and happiness. “I love you.” He went back into Spock’s arms.

“Jim?”

“Hmm?”

“You still have not said yes.”  


	9. The First

     

“Which one of you said it first?”

I looked up from my PADD, which I’d been reading since Uhura had just sent me the next mission from Starfleet. Bones was eying me curiously over his cup of coffee.

“Huh?”

“Between you and Spock. Which one of you said ‘I love you forever’ first.”

I smirked. “I love you forever?”

“Or whatever Spock says. Like ‘Of all the humans I know I can tolerate you the most’. The mushy stuff.”

“You interrupted me to ask me that?”

“You’ve read the same line like twenty times in a row anyway.”

I put down the PADD. “How’d you know that?”

“I know you.”

“Why the question anyway? I thought you didn’t want to know all that mushy stuff when it relates to me and Spock.”

“Just this once.” Bones shrugged. “See, I’m trying to decide when it would be appropriate for me to say it.”

“With Carol?”

“No with Scotty. Yes, with Carol.”

“She hasn’t said it yet huh?”

Bones scowled. “No. With my ex, she said it first. And pretty quick. Like the fourth or fifth date. So I was thinking maybe Carol expects me to say it first.”

“Well Gaila said it first. Sorta.”

“Sorta?”

“She said she thought she loved me. I guess that’s the same thing. I think women often say it first.”

“Hmm. Did Uhura say it first with Spock, do you think?”

My jaw clenched. “Now you’re just being an ass.”

“Maybe. So, who? You?”

I grinned. “Of course me.”

Bones nodded. “I figured.” He stood. “Thanks for dinner, Jim.”

“Any time.” After Bones left, I finished the rest of my cheesecake and got up to retire to my own quarters.

My mind was on Bones’ questions, because the truth was, neither of had yet said those three little words. Three stupid words. I didn’t want to admit that to Bones.

Spock and I were probably the two most emotionally stunted individuals around. And yet, somehow, we totally worked. And I knew we both were crazy about each other.

Spock was sitting at my terminal at my desk when I stepped into my quarters. The sight of him there, brow furrowed in concentration, made me melt. I knew I had a big stupid grin on my face.

He looked up at me, arched a brow. “Your dinner with the doctor has concluded?”

“Yeah.” I came around the desk and plopped myself into his lap. He was unfazed by my actions as his arms just came around me. “Got a new mission.”

“Nyota sent it to me as well. I have already had a course laid in.”

“That’s because you are the best first officer ever.”

“You wish to engage in sexual relations?”

“No. Well, yes. I mean, yeah, of course. Have you seen yourself?” I licked my lips, feeling my arousal grow. “In a minute. I want to tell you something.”

Spock’s hold tightened on me and I became aware that he, too, was aroused. “What do you wish to say?”

I moved my hand from his cheek to his ear and began to stroke the point.

“If you wish to discuss something, I would advise you to cease coming on to me,” Spock said.

Out came my tongue again to trace my lips. He growled in response. I cleared my throat and stopped petting his ear.

“Just…you know, right?”

“I know?”

“How I feel.”

“You had a strange meal with the doctor.”

“Yeah.” I resumed stroking his point with my finger tip. “So, you do, right?”

“Affirmative.”

“And I know how you feel.”

“Indeed.”

I leaned down to kiss him, he returned my kiss fervently. “So, it doesn’t matter if we never say those words, huh?”

He kissed me, his teeth sinking into my bottom lip. “Correct.”

“Good, cause—ah, hell, fuck it. I love you. There.” I smashed my lips over his. “Let’s go to bed.”

Spock rose, carrying me with him, and went toward the bed. Our lips were fused together, we were as one.

Suddenly I found myself on my back on the bed, Spock looming over me as he gripped one of my hands with his and the other he placed on my face, at my psi points.

I sucked in a breath as overwhelming emotions assailed me. All from Spock and all wrapping me in such warmth it was difficult to breathe.

“Well?” Spock arched a brow.

“Your way is so much better,” I admitted.

Then I was lost to the thrill of our joining.     


	10. The Flu

“So, how long are you gonna be in here anyway?” Jim asked Bones as he gazed down at his friend lying in one of his own biobeds.

“For however long this damn flu lasts,” Bones grumbled. “Keep your distance, will ya? Someone on a ship next to you breaks out in hives and you get them too.”

“Do not,” Jim protested, but Jim backed away anyhow. He glanced at Nurse Chapel as she walked by. “What’s he got?”

“The Devarian flu, Captain. And do keep back, it’s possibly contagious. Commander Spock just commed stating he had similar symptoms to Leonard’s.”

“Spock’s sick?”

“Oh, no. That’s okay, really. I feel fine,” Bones said sarcastically.

“I better go check on him.” He turned away from Bones. “See you later, Bones.”

“Unbelievable.”

Jim hurried to the turbolift, hitting the com on the wall as he pulled the lever for the officers’ deck. “Scotty, can you report to the bridge? You have the conn.”

“Aye, Captain.”

When Jim made it to his first officer’s quarters, the lights were dim. Probably no more than at ten percent.

“Spock? Spock, it’s Jim.”

He passed through the main part of Spock’s quarters. He found Spock sitting on his meditation mat.

“Spock?”

“Jim.” Spock swayed a little.

“What are you doing? You should be in bed.” He reached down and helped Spock up. He wrapped his arm around Spock’s waist and led him to the bed. “You’ve got that flu, haven’t you?”

“No, I…perhaps.”

Jim pulled away the sheet and blanket and gently pushed Spock onto the bed. He straddled Spock’s legs and yanked off the boots. “You want me to take your clothes off?”

“James, I find you highly attractive and engaging in coitus with you is quite satisfactory, but I do not feel up to it at present.”

Jim smiled gently at Spock. “I know, sweetheart. I meant before I tuck you into bed.” Then he frowned. “Wait. Only satisfactory?”

“Quite.”

“Well, yeah I know but—ah, hell. Clothes off?”

Spock nodded.

Jim undid Spock’s pants and pulled them off. Then he lifted Spock up and removed his uniform shirts. He now was only dressed in his regulations briefs. “A sleeping robe?”

“Please.”

Jim went to Spock’s closet and removed the nearest brown sleeping robe. It was unbelievably soft. Jim brought it to the bed and managed to get a pliant Spock into it. He then had Spock lay down so he could tuck the covers in all around him. “How’s that?”

“Thank you.”

“You’re off duty for the time being.”

“I am certain with some sleep I will be fully functional.”

Jim shook his head. “Nope. I’ll get M’Benga in here. He can tell me how long you need to be off. Bones has it too.”

Spock frowned minutely. “What will you do without either myself or Dr. McCoy?”

“I’ll manage.”

“But you always have one or the other of us. Most of the time, both.”

“Spock, I‘ll manage.”

Spock looked doubtful. “I do not feel that bad.”

“You are burning up with a fever and shivering besides.”

“I have heard body heat is good for chills.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah, I’ve heard that too. But unfortunately, one of us has to be well enough to run this ship, sweetheart. Computer, raise temperature twenty degrees.”

Spock coughed hoarsely.

“Awe, you sound terrible. Can I get you something? Tea? Vegetable broth?”

“I am slightly hungry,” Spock admitted, his brown eyes soft.

“Coming right up.” Jim went to get up from sitting on the edge of Spock’s bed, but Spock grabbed his hand and held on to it. “Spock, you have to let go for me to get it for you.”

“Very well.” But Spock did not let his hand go.

“Spock?”

“I love you very much,” Spock said softly.

“I know you do, sweetheart. And I love you, too.”

“I do not wish to live without you.”

“You won’t have to. I’m not going anywhere.”

“If you die, I will die too.”

“Spock.” Jim squeezed his hand. “No one’s going to die. You just have the flu.”

“Someday.”

“Yes. But not for a long time.” Spock let go of his hand and Jim got up and fetched him vegetable broth from the synthesizer. He brought it back to Spock. “There you go. Sit up just a little.”

Spock did as he said and took the cup of broth. “I wish to keep you here.”

“I have to go to the bridge.”

“Mr. Scott can man it unless there is an emergency.” Spock looked at him under his lashes.

“You need your rest anyway. I want you to sleep.”

“You can work at my terminal.”

“Yeah, yeah, I guess I could...” He’d have to strip down to his underwear because it was already unbearably hot. Spock had turned pleading, puppy dog eyes on him. Obviously a sick Spock was very needy. Jim didn’t mind. Spock didn't ask for much. “Okay, sure, I’ll do that.”

“You do not mind?”

“No, sweetheart.”

Spock took a sip of the broth. “Jim?”

“Yes?”

“I believe I am going to vomit.” 


	11. Genie in a Bottle

Jim went about the business of being captain but he there was no joy. He was not sure if there would ever be joy again. Not now. Not yesterday. Not tomorrow.

“Jim, you okay?” Bones’ hand on his shoulder.

Jim glanced at Bones. He still had Bones. Yes, he still had Bones. He could survive with just Bones, couldn’t he?

“Jim?”

“Bones,” he said softly.

“Maybe this is too early, Jim.”

“No, I…I’m okay.”

“I think I put you back on duty too soon. You’re emotionally compromised.”

“No, I-yes.”

“You lost Spock, your best friend, and your first officer. It’s going to take some time.”

Jim rubbed his chest. Time? He would never get over losing Spock. Never. And not telling him before he’d been-been—

Bones squeezed his arm. “I’ll be right back, Jim. I’ve gotta go check on Ensign Rathburn. He fell and hurt his ankle.”

Jim nodded, not really paying attention. He continued walking over the rocks. How long had it been since Spock had been killed saving Jim? He’d taken a shot from a Klingon weapon that had been aimed at Jim. And Jim’s world had been destroyed.

Finally he stopped to rest on a boulder. That’s when he noticed a sparkly purple bottle. Jim leaned down to pick it up. It looked like glass, but it was also very old and dirty. Jim rubbed it.

Suddenly steam came out from the top and it became very hot. Jim dropped it onto the ground.

A moment later a sultry woman dressed in what appeared to be a purple harem costume appeared amongst the steam.

“What the hell?”

“Hello, Master,” she said to Jim.

“Master?”

She smiled. “I am here to grant your wishes.”

Jim snorted. “I must have fallen and hit my head or something.”

“No, Master. Truly. Your wish is my command. Whatever you wish, I will grant it.”

“What’s the catch?”

“Well.” She smiled.

“I knew it.”

“You only get three wishes.”

“And?”

“That’s it.”

“They disappear after a while?”

She shook her head. “No. They are permanent. Unless your other wishes are to wish the one before didn’t happen.”

Jim smirked. “And I can’t wish for someone to love me right?”

“Oh, no, there are no such restrictions.”

He blinked. “I must be dreaming.”

“No. But you should hurry as your friend is approaching.”

“Uh. I wish Spock was alive.”

She blinked. “Done. He is now on the Enterprise alive.”

Jim pulled out his communicator. “Kirk to Enterprise.”

“Spock here, Captain.”

His heart started beating again. “Spock?”

“Captain? Is there a problem?”

“No. Kirk out.” He looked at the woman. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome, Master.”

“But won’t everyone know he was dead?”

“No. It is as if it never happened. Your next wish?”

Jim knew what he wanted to wish. But that would be crazy. Insane. Spock was with Uhura. And he couldn’t do that to them. He couldn’t.

“Master?”

“I wish Spock was in love with me.”

The woman smiled and blinked.

“Wait—”

“Done!”

“Just like that?”

“Yes.” She suddenly disappeared into steam and went back into the bottle.

Bones appeared. “Jim? You ready? We’re ready to go back to the Enterprise.”

“Uh.” Jim stood up and grabbed the bottle. “Sure.”

“What’s that?”

“Just something I want to examine on the ship.”

Later when Jim got to his quarters, Spock was waiting for him. Jim almost cried seeing him. Spock had been dead and now he wasn’t.

“Oh, hey, Spock.” Jim was trying to be casual.

Spock suddenly grabbed him and pushed him against the bulkhead, kissing him. Jim kissed him back, desperately, his heart pounding. Oh God, oh God. Spock was alive and loved him. Wanted him.

“Taluhk nash-veh k'du,” Spock said against his lips.

It was all Jim wanted. Everything. Only Spock’s love wasn’t real. He’d wished this. It was fake.

Jim pushed Spock away. Spock looked surprised.

“I-I’ll be right back.”

“Jim, I—”

“Right back.” Jim hurried away and into the bathroom, clutching the bottle. Inside, he rubbed it until the steam appeared and the woman was there in his bathroom.

“Master? You wish your third wish?”

“Yes. Can you-can you undo the one about Spock.”

She frowned. “Which one?”

Jim bugged his eyes out. “About loving me. That one. Not-not the other one. Please.”

“And you are certain you wish me to remove your second wish.”

Jim nodded miserably. “Yes.”

“Jim? Jim? Are you all right? I am going to come in.”

She blinked. “It is done.”

And with that she and the bottle were gone.

The door opened. Spock tilted his head. “Were you talking to someone?”

“No, no. Just myself.” Jim stared at Spock. At least he was alive. Alive and there and maybe someday there would be more between them. Or not. But Spock was here. And he could have cried with relief. “Was there-there something you wanted?”

Spock blinked. “I do not recall now.”

Jim smiled. It was hard but he did it. “If you remember, let me know.”

Spock nodded. “Yes, Captain. I will let you rest now. You must be tired after the mission.”

“Thank you, Mister Spock. Chess later?”

“That would be agreeable.”

After Spock left, Jim reached for a bottle of whiskey he’d gotten on Altaria. “Bones?” He pressed his comm. “You busy?”

“Nah, you want company?”

“Yeah, thanks.” He touched his fingers to his lips, remembering Spock’s mouth on his. All in all, he was glad for the wishes, even if he didn’t have Spock’s love. He still had Spock. That would be enough.


	12. Uncertainty

Jim felt Bones’ hand on his shoulder just before Bones said, “Jim?”

He stared out at the stars, unseeing. He knew there were stars out there, sure. He’d seen them a thousand times. Maybe more. He’d been on the observation deck more times than he could count. But the peace it usually offered wasn’t there.

“I’m okay,” Jim said hollowly.

“The hell you are.”

“I’m barely holding it together here, but I  _am_  holding it together.”

“What happened? This has something to do with the hobgoblin, doesn’t it?” Bones put his hand on Jim’s arm and turned Jim to face him. “What’s he done?”

“He hasn’t done anything. Bones, this isn’t him. It’s nothing to do with Spock. There is no Spock.”

Bones frowned. “No Spock? What? I thought you two were—”

Jim shook his head somewhat frantically. “No. We aren’t.”

“You slept together. I saw you two together on shore leave. You did, right?”

Jim shrugged Bones’s hold off. “I’ve fucked around with lots of people. It doesn’t mean shit.”

“But this isn’t just anyone. It’s Spock. He doesn’t do casual.”

“You’re wrong. He does. He did.”

“I don’t understand.”

“It was just sex, Bones. To get it out of my system. And now I have. He has. We’re done.”

“Jim—”

“Can you just go? Leave me alone, please. I need this time alone. Bones, please.”

Bones stared at him a long time. “This isn’t over. But all right.”

Jim closed his eyes and waited for the sound of Bones leaving before he opened them again. He closed his fists.  He needed to feel numb. To be so fucking drunk he felt nothing but air.

There was still a day left of shore leave. He was going to get royally fucked.

By the time he got down to the planet, evening was falling on the planet. Perfect. He’d get smashed, find some random stranger to fuck him up, and it would no longer matter.

He saw the Orion female with the long raven hair and glittery eyes as soon as he walked into the bar. As he approached the bar, her pheromones called to him. He walked straight up to her and she turned her head to look him in the eyes. She smirked and grabbed the back of his head, her long fingernails grazing his scalp. Her lips were on his, devouring, biting. He closed his eyes, trying to block out all thoughts of Vulcan heartbreakers.

Their kiss broke and he was panting with lust. She grabbed his hand and started leading him from the bar, could have been toward his death, to ultimate oblivion, and he didn’t even care.

She pulled him into a lift and against her and he closed his eyes, burying his face against her neck. Then his vision narrowed and winked out as he fell to the ground.

When he woke he was in his own quarters. He had no recollection of how he’d gotten there. His hair was damp as though he’d just showered and he wore only a pair of briefs.

Jim blinked up at the ceiling.

“Why did you leave?” A soft low voice, warm and comforting that flowed through him to his very core.

Jim closed his eyes. Of course. A neck pinch. “You know why.”

“No.” Footsteps approached his bed. “I thought…”

He swallowed heavily. “I don’t do relationships.”

A soft movement as the bed shifted. “You are afraid.”

He shook his head in denial, but then nodded. “Yes. I’ve never gotten anything right. Not about that. I didn’t mean for it to get that far but you-you’re—”

“Will you open your eyes and look at me?”

Jim opened his eyes and stared in the most beautiful brown eyes he had ever seen. Ever would see. His heart clenched. His eyes stung. “You’re incredible. You really are.”

“With you.”

“You don’t need me.”

Long fingers touched his lips. “I disagree most emphatically.”

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice raw and broken.

“Then do not turn away from me. Give me a chance to prove we can work more than just a few short hours during shore leave.”

“I don’t want us to be a regret you have.”

“Ashayam, never.”

“Spock—”

“Please.” So simple, so honest, so desperate.

He could never deny Spock. Why had he ever thought he could?

Jim reached for Spock’s hand, curled his fingers around the palm. “Yes.”


	13. Scents

“There he is! Should we follow him?” Nyota stopped Spock with a hand on his arm. She pulled him around a corner and pointed. “There! Going into that store. Do you think he’s meeting her there?”

“Who is her?”

“Whoever he’s cheating on you with.”

Spock frowned. “I do not believe Jim is cheating on me.”

“Come on, Spock. He said he wanted to spend a few hours alone on shore leave and now he’s going into a shop that sells scented bath products. They’re probably for her.”

“In the last two months since we have been in a monogamous relationship the captain has shown no signs of being displeased with our arrangement.”

“Well if that’s the case, then let’s go see what he’s doing!”

“I do not think it is wise to spy on Jim, Nyota.”

She sighed. “Fine. Suit yourself. There’s Christine. I’m supposed to meet her for coffee anyway. Want to come along?”

“No. I will return to the ship and wait for Jim.”

As Nyota ran off, Spock turned back to look at the shop Jim had disappeared into. He should ignore Nyota and return to the ship as he’d said. He trusted Jim. He trusted no one else as much as Jim. And yet…

Spock looked left and right, then walked over to the shop to look in the window. He spotted his boyfriend immediately. Jim was in front a display of several scented shower gels. He was holding a basket and it looked as though there were already bottles he had chosen in the basket.

Jim glanced up and Spock moved quickly away. He felt instantly dirty and guilty for spying on Jim. He should not have listened to Nyota. Jim asked for a few hours alone and Spock couldn’t even give him that. He owed Jim an apology.

He returned to the ship and occupied himself with doing other things until he finally returned to his quarters. He heard the shower running in the bathroom he shared with Jim, and it sounded like a water shower.

Remembering he owed Jim an apology, Spock entered the bathroom.  He immediately saw bottles of shower gel on the sink. Jim hadn’t yet noticed him. Spock walked up to the bottles.

Pumpkin Marshmallow,  Cup of Warmth, Vanilla Bean Noel.

“Spock?”

He turned around to see Jim holding a shower gel bottle in his hand that read Sweet Cinnamon Pumpkin.

“Uh. Ashaya.”

Jim turned off the shower and came out, wrapping a towel around him. He was flushed red, and not just from the shower. He walked over to the gels and picked them up and hastily put them in a cabinet. Jim rubbed the back of his neck. “So. Uh. Hi.”

Spock sniffed. “You smell quite good.”

“Yeah. About that. You weren’t supposed to see those.”

“Why not?”

“Well, um. It’s hardly very captainly of me. Or whatever.”

“You bought them in the bath shop on Earth?”

“Yeah. How’d you know?”

“I saw you go into the shop.” Spock shifted. “I may have looked in on you while you were there. For that I apologize.”

“Nah, it’s okay. I, uh, like the smells. And I can only get them when we’re on Earth.” He shrugged. “It’s a stupid indulgence.”  

Spock stepped close to Jim and put his hand on Jim’s face. “I find you almost unbearably appealing.”

Jim smiled. “Yeah?”

“Most definitely,” Spock whispered, as he leaned down slightly to kiss Jim.


	14. The Nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a dream, some comfort

Jim was awakened by a scream, raw and hoarse and terrified. As he sat up abruptly, his heart pounding fast, adrenaline shooting through his veins, it took him a moment to realize the scream hadn’t come from his own throat, but the Vulcan lying beside him. Spock was still thrashing and moaning in his disturbed sleep.

“Spock, wake up.” Jim touched Spock’s face gently, his fingers soothing on his jaw, his other hand stroking Spock’s bare arm. “It’s okay, Spock. Wake up.”

Spock’s eyes opened and he shot up straight in bed.

“Easy, easy, big guy. You’re all right.” Jim continued to stroke Spock’s arm, but moved his hand from Spock’s face.

“Captain?”

It was almost funny that given their very recent romantic relationship Spock would call him captain. Hell, they were both naked, actually. But there was nothing at all funny about the look on Spock’s face or the loss of color in his cheeks.

“Yeah, I’m here,” he said softly.

Spock inhaled and then exhaled, his gaze lighting on Jim’s face. Those beautiful dark eyes were stormy, turbulent, tortured. Clearly still suffering residual from the dream. Jim put his other hand on Spock’s side, by his heart.

”It’s beating pretty fast.”

Spock nodded quite slowly. He still had not spoken except for that one rather strangled ‘Captain’.

“I didn’t know Vulcans had bad dreams.”

“It is not the norm,” Spock said at last. “Clearly it is not impossible.”

“Do you want to tell me about it?”

“Negative,” Spock whispered.

Jim nodded. “Okay. You did just come back from a pretty terrible away mission. I guess it makes sense you might experience some uneasiness over it.”

“I was not the subject of the dream.”

“Oh.” He licked his lips. He was pretty sure he didn’t want to ask who was and he was even more sure Spock didn’t want to say. “Come here.”

He lay flat on his back and held out his arms for Spock.

With barely any hesitation, Spock came to him and allowed Jim to gently lay Spock’s head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around the Vulcan to pull him close.

“Your heart rate is also elevated,” Spock said.

“I don’t like it when you’re distressed,” Jim admitted. He slid his hand to Spock’s head and gently massaged the crown.

“This is helping.”

Jim smiled a little. “I’m glad it is.”

Spock sighed softly and closed his eyes. “You are remarkably good at offering comfort, ashayam.”

“I know what works for me. I figured it might also work for you.”

“It does.”

“Good.”

“Jim?”

“Yes?”

“Thank you.”

Jim thought of what Spock always said to him. “Your gratitude is not necessary.”

Spock’s lips curved very slightly against Jim’s chest as a very brief kiss was placed there.   


	15. Lay Me Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Major, super angst. Please take heed of this. This warning means it.

“Hey.” Jim attempted a smile through his cracked bleeding lips. He felt the cool, damp cloth the nurse patted on his lips, but his eyes were focused on Spock.

Spock’s dark eyes were anything but blank as he grasped Jim’s hand. They were haunted, desperate, and filling with tears.

“Hey, hey, don’t,” Jim whispered.

“You cannot tell me not to cry.”

“But I do.” A sharp pain in his chest made his breath catch. “I’ll always lay by your side, Spock. And make sure you’re all right.”

Spock closed his eyes. Jim could see his brave Vulcan was shaking. “Are you in pain?”

“A little. Not as bad as it was. Bones-Bones gave me something. Not too much though. I-I wanted to be able to say—”

“Do not—”

“Goodbye.”

“Please.”

“Spock.” Jim squeezed Spock’s hand with what strength he had left. “I love you so much. I don’t regret anything.”

“Kaiidth.”

“Yes.”

“I do not accept that. There has to be a way.”

Jim shook his head. His own eyes stung with tears. “There isn’t. Bones tried. He did, Spock. Don’t blame him. Okay?”

“This is-this is impossible.”

“Hey, at least we didn’t bond yet.” Jim regretted it when Spock winced. “Sorry. It was a stupid joke. I just—it would have been worse for you.”

The tears were freely dripping down Spock’s cheeks. “I do not know how it could be any worse than this.”

Jim closed his eyes at the sharp pain in his chest.

“Jim?” Spock’s voice was panicked.

“I’m-I’m still here, sweetheart.” For now, Jim thought. He could feel himself getting weaker. The pain worse. His thoughts harder to focus.

“Please do not leave me,” Spock whispered hoarsely.

“Spock, sweetheart.” Jim gasped. Spock’s hand gripped his desperately. His vision was narrowing. “I’m scared.”

“I am also.”

“I’m sorry. I wish-I wish there was more time. But just know—you were everything to me. Everything.”

“Jim.”

“I love you. Always.”

“Jim!”

Jim moved his fingers to Spock’s. He smiled. He couldn’t see Spock anymore. He could hear crying from somewhere and then nothing.

 


	16. Happy New Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jim misses Spock when he finds himself alone for New Year's

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old Married Spirk

For years he’d been alone, before he met Spock, and some even after, but now that he no longer was alone, it was strange to be so again.

It was not that he could not be alone. He’d had plenty of practice. The world would not end because Jim Kirk had to spend a couple of days by himself. More than a couple now that he thought about for Spock had left the day before for what was supposed to be one night.  

It was New Year’s Eve and no Spock.

Spock had assured him when he left for this lecture in another state that he would be home early afternoon on December 31, but then the bad weather had come where Spock was and he was being told he would make it home now until January 02.

It wasn’t as though after all these years they did anything spectacular for New Year’s Eve. Spock didn’t drink and Jim didn’t have the taste for it he’d once had. An occasional one here and there was more than enough. They did not go to big parties where balls dropped. It was just nice to ring in the New Year with a kiss and a hug and a promise for an even better year to come.

But that was not to be. Until January 02 anyway.

In the past he would have bugged Bones to spend the time with him instead, but there was no Bones now. Bones had passed a few years back. Too young as far as Jim was concerned though some would not say so, but it would have been all the same to Jim if Bones had lived forever. Jim’s version of forever anyway.

Funny thing about super blood. They hardly ever talked about it. Less so now than years ago when it happened, but the fact was Jim wasn’t aging like normal humans. Oh sure he was aging. He didn’t look like he did then. Nobody did. But he was still pretty strong and fit, most assuredly for his age. Spock was quite pleased by that turn of events because it meant they could spend that much more time together.

Except it had been years and years since they’d spent even one night apart and now…

Okay, yes, Jim was feeling terribly terribly sorry for himself. He should be ashamed. He still had Spock and Spock would be back on the 2nd.

Part of him almost wished he was back in Riverside at the old farmhouse but then he remembered there was a goddamn reason he’d sold that place and that was that he hated it. And every damn thing it represented even now when he should be beyond all that.

He made himself tea, an old man’s drink perhaps, and sat in his favorite chair looking out at the skyline beyond the floor to ceiling windows in their condo. Of their friends it was only him and Spock left now. They had other friends, yes, but not the ones from the original crew of the Enterprise and God, Jim missed them.

Later when he was feeling up to it he would raise a glass of something and toast to them.

Spock had told him he would comm him when it was midnight where he was so that Jim wouldn’t have to stay up until midnight San Francisco time. Jim probably would anyway. It was hard to make himself go to an empty bed.

“Well, Jim,” he said out loud. “You’ve become a doddering old man waiting for your husband to come home. You’re pathetic.”

He closed his eyes but opened them quickly when he felt the gentle buzz of his bond with Spock. Like a light touch across his mind, skittering or skipping like a stone into the water. It was soothing and playful all at the same time.

“Spock?”

The door of the condo opened and Jim struggled out of his chair. Sure enough his husband stood there with his overnight suitcase.

“How?”

“The weather cleared enough to get a shuttle out.”

Spock opened his arms and Jim went right into them. Well, perhaps slower than he once did. His lips found Spock’s.

_Happy New Year, Jim._

Jim sighed into the kiss.

Later Jim poured himself a small glass of wine while Spock had grape juice. They watched the fireworks over San Francisco.

“To old friends,” Jim said softly.

“And to new beginnings.”

Jim smiled and danced with Spock to the faint strains of Auld Lang Syne.     


	17. Two Hearts

Jim heard the snick of the door and immediately tensed. Without turning around he knew who had invaded his privacy in his private room on the observation deck. The lock reengaged.

“I’ve said all I am going to say, Commander.”

“Then do not speak.”

A prickle of awareness caused the hair on the back of his neck to rise. He took a step forward, putting distance between them. Distance he both needed and feared. Dreaded.

But he should have known the distance would disappear, squashed beneath booted feet. Hands gripped the back of his shoulders. Hot breath fanned the side of his throat, his ear.

“It was a mere disagreement.”

“Was it?” Jim asked hollowly. It was difficult to maintain indifference. _He_ made it difficult.

“It is illogical to assume our relationship is ended simply because we spoke in anger.”

“I spoke in anger. You spoke cool, calm, and like a robot.”

“I had an elevated temper.”

Jim snorted. “An elevated temper?”

A long pause. “Do you wish to end our romantic pairing?”

“I’ve never been in a real relationship,” Jim muttered. He closed his eyes as lips touched the shell of his ear. “That hardly seems fair.”

“I never said I would play fair,” Spock whispered, his tongue flicking out to trace the mole on the side of Jim’s face. It shouldn’t be so hot.

“Spock, maybe we shouldn’t—”

“We should. We are…meant to be.”

“That’s your counterpart speaking.”

“Negative. It is me. It is you.”

He was turned to face Spock and soft warm lips touched his. Spock’s arms came around him and pulled him close. Jim let out a shaky breath.

“You rarely allow yourself to be comforted, ashayam.”

“No one should see me weak,” Jim whispered.

“Even me?”

“Especially you.”

“Illogical.” Spock kissed his forehead. “You can be anything with me.”

“No, I can’t.”

Spock shook him just slightly. Jim smiled a little. “Yes, you can. You can even be stubborn and obstinate with me.”

“I kind of excel at that.”

“Indeed.”

“I’m sorry I’m such a jerk,” Jim mumbled into Spock’s neck.

“Sometimes I suppose I deserve it.”

Jim moved closer into Spock’s arms, happy when Spock’s arms tightened around him.

“When you are feeling irritable, come to me and I will soothe you.”

“Sometimes I can’t be soothed.”

“Then I will put up with you.”

Jim laughed. “God, I love you. I do. I really do.”

“May I assume then that the answer to my query is no?”

Jim pulled back just enough to look at him. “Query?”

“Do you wish to end our romantic pairing?”

Jim stared into those dark eyes. “I should.”

“I do not agree.”

“So, you don’t wish to end our romantic pairing?”

Spock shook his head. “I wish to strengthen it.”

“Strengthen it?”

“I would bond with thee.”

“Bond?” Okay, his voice did not squeak. It didn’t. “With me?”

Spock gave him that sexy as hell “illogical human” look. “Who else is there?”

Jim couldn’t speak. All he could do was stare.

“Shall we return to your quarters?”

Jim nodded and reluctantly moved out of Spock’s arms. They walked side by side to the turbolift and then down the corridor to his quarters.

The door opened and Jim instantly saw the silky red satin sheets on his bed. In the middle of the bed was a box of chocolates. And on top of that a small square box with a tiny red bow upon it.

Jim’s surprised gaze flew to Spock.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Jim.”


	18. RPG

Jim Kirk took a seat at the crowded bar on the planet Risa. There happened to be an empty stool next to his at the end, but only just because prior to his arrival an Orion girl had slinked off with a human girl.

He hadn’t expected it to be quite so crowded. He didn’t really like huge crowds, but there was no hope for it, he guessed. If he wanted a drink.

Someone sat next to him on the no longer empty stool and Jim chanced a glance in his direction.

“Wow, a Vulcan,” he said out loud. “Not many of those around these days.”

The Vulcan arched a brow. “Indeed. Is this stool occupied?”

Jim shook his head. “No. Well, now, yes, I guess.” He grinned.

The Vulcan looked straight ahead as if he were studying the bottles of alcohol behind the bar. “It is my understanding that you wish to copulate with a Vulcan,” he said in a low voice that sent a shiver right up Jim’s spine.

The bartender arrived. “What’ll it be?”

“Kroc’s Martini,” Jim replied.

The bartender looked to the Vulcan.

“Tea.”

The bartender shook his head and walked away.

Jim licked his lips. “How’d you know about that?”

“You have not been subtle in your vocalization of your desires.”

“So, it’s common knowledge.”

“Word gets around quickly.” The Vulcan’s gaze landed on him. Dark eyes seemed to assess him. “And I admit to a certain curiosity of my own where Humans are concerned.

“And do you intend to offer yourself for our mutual experimentation?”

A slight frown marred the Vulcan’s expression. “I will certainly allow no one else to have you.”

Jim rolled his eyes. “No. Spock. That’s…you aren’t going by the script.”

Spock’s frown deepened. “I thought it might be appropriate to alter the situation with a little improvisation. Vulcans are known to be possessive.”

Jim certainly had learned that lesson. “I’m not sure you’re very good with improvising, Spock. That’s why I gave you the script.”

Spock sighed very slightly as the tea was put in front of him. Jim received the Martini as well. “As you are aware I think this entire exercise is completely illogical. We have already copulated numerous times since we commenced our romantic relationship seven months, three weeks, and two days ago. We are sharing a hotel room.”

“I know. It’s just a little harmless role playing, Spock. It’s for fun.”

“I see no entertainment value in pretending to be two strangers wishing to engage in random copulation,” Spock replied. “Vulcans are not known to value casual sexual acts for physical stimulation.”

“I know that too,” Jim muttered.

“Captain—”

“Look, it’s just a fantasy, Spock.”

“I see.”

“Don’t Vulcans ever fantasize?”

“Of course not.”

Jim sighed, pinched the bridge of his nose and reached for his drink. “Of course not.”

Spock fell silent and seemed quite pensive. Then he said, “Perhaps we should try your second scenario.”

Jim glanced at him, trying to decide if Spock could pull it off. “All right, we can try it.”

Spock nodded. “Should I get off the stool and come back again?”

“No, no. You’re fine. Just start with your lines.”

Spock took a sip of the tea and then seemed to gather himself. He turned to Jim. “Greetings, Human. It is my understanding that you are a famous starship Captain. Would you care to show me the size of your…ship?”

Jim covered his mouth with his hand, trying to keep his sudden burst of laughter in.

“I am particularly interested in viewing your stern,” Spock said in all earnest seriousness.

Jim buried his face in his hands and started laughing somewhat hysterically.

“Captain, did I not say the lines as written?”

“No. No. You did.” Jim grinned and took another sip of his drink. “It’s not you, Spock. It’s the idiot who wrote those lines.”

“Was that not you, Jim?”

“Yes, exactly.” Jim slapped the bar, laughing. “Oh, my God. ‘I am particularly interested in viewing your stern’. What the hell was I thinking?”

“I admit I do not know,” Spock replied. “Jim?”

“Yeah?”

“I am concerned that perhaps you have grown bored.”

“Bored?”

Spock hesitated. “Nyota did advise me of her concerns.”

“What? What concerns? What did she say?”

“When we were preparing to commence with a romantic relationship she did express reservations that you would be able to fully commit to the sort of relationship I would require from you given your history of sexual promiscuity. It is nearly a given that under those circumstances I would fail to fulfill your every need.”

Jim tapped his fingers on the bar and pursed his lips, feeling immensely irritated.

“I have offended you,” Spock said quietly.

Jim said nothing and instead reached for his drink.

“It was not my intention to do so. I apologize. I expressed myself incorrectly.”

“Did you? So you don’t have concerns that my former promiscuity, as you so succinctly put it, can’t be reined in?”

Spock opened his mouth and then closed it.

Jim sighed. “It’s all right. I can see where you’re coming from. I’m not thrilled that your ex is warning you against me.”

“She did not—”

“Don’t interrupt me,” Jim said in his cool Captain’s voice. “And don’t defend her. You just told me she did. Spock, I’m not growing bored. Wanting to play silly role playing games doesn’t mean I want to fool around with someone else. I’m doing these games with _you_. Because I want _you_. And I thought it might be fun. I can see now that you view it as some—I don’t know—questioning of your value as a romantic partner for me. And isn’t that a damn mouthful? And how long did you say we’d been together? Like eight months?”

“Seven months, three weeks, and two days.”

Jim allowed himself to smile. “Right. And the truth is, I haven’t been with _anyone_ that long except you. I want you to have fun with this.”

Spock exhaled very slowly. “I am not interested in fun, Jim. I take our relationship very seriously and I do not wish to view it as simply ‘fun’.”

He rolled his eyes, which he could plainly see surprised Spock. “I don’t mean it like that and even you can’t claim you think I do. I told you I love you.” He lowered his voice. “I’ve never told anyone that but you.” He touched his fingers to Spock’s.

“You know I feel the same way.”

“I’ve never had a boyfriend before.”

“I prefer the term mate.”

Jim huffed. “You say potato I say patato. Tomato, tamato. What’s the difference?”

Spock’s brow’s furrowed. “Well, the pronunciation is—”

“Spock.” Jim laughed. Shook his head. “You know what, sweetheart?”

As always happened when Jim used an endearment, Spock’s cheeks turned a very subtle shade of green. Jim thought it was adorable.

“What?” Spock asked, his gaze boring into Jim like he could see right through him. Jim suspected maybe he could.

“Let’s just get out of here and go back to our hotel room. We’ve got that amazing view of the bay. We can get room service. All of the vegetables you want to your heart’s content.”

“I think I would find that most agreeable.”

Jim put down credits to pay for their drinks and then they slid off the stools.

“Captain?”

"Yeah?"

“Dr. McCoy is—”

“Don’t tell me what he’s doing.”

“But Captain—”

“No, seriously. I saw him earlier when we first came in and I really can’t unsee it so please don’t make me look again.”

“Very well.”

Jim smiled and shook his head. “Long as he’s happy.” He grabbed Spock’s arm as they headed for the exit. “Come on, sweetheart.”

It was brighter outside than Jim had anticipated, so he shielded his eyes.

“Keptin? Are you leaving? Ve just got here.”

“We thought we’d buy you a drink, Captain,” Sulu added.

“Next time. Spock and I have had enough of the bar scene for now.” He smiled at Chekov and Sulu as they went past them into the bar.

“I appreciate that,” Spock said. “I did not find returning inside the establishment agreeable.”

“I know. Let’s go.”

They headed down the street from the bar to their hotel which was at the very end of this particular section of the harbor-beach area. Spock, of course, had protested the expense of the room Jim had chosen, but he had agreed the view of the bay was spectacular. They only had two nights to spend for shore leave and there was no way Jim wasn’t going to get them the best room possible for those two nights. This was the first shore leave Spock had agreed to spend with Jim.

They were within mere feet of the sandy path that led up to their hotel when from out of nowhere two Humans set upon them, phasers aimed.

“Give us all the credits you have,” one of them said.

Jim snorted. “I don’t think so.” He rushed at the guy, chopping him in the neck. The guy yelled and collapsed to the ground, and before Jim could turn to the second guy he was dropping his phaser and holding up his hands.

“Whoa, whoa,” the guy said, backing away.

Jim frowned, looked down at the guy moaning on the ground. “What the hell?”

Spock cleared his throat beside him. Jim glanced at him.

“Geez,” the guy on the ground protested. “He really hurt me.”

“Captain.”

“What’s going on, Spock?”

“This was…my attempt at role playing.”

“Your what?” Jim stared at him.

“I thought you might find it amusing.”

“To have someone attack me?” Jim asked incredulously.

“We did not attack you!” The guy on the ground scurried up. “You were just supposed to hand over your credits and then the commander here would return them to you.”

“Oh, for God’s sake. Are you members of my crew?”

“Yes, Captain.”

“You need serious training. Serious training.”

The one who had dropped his phaser blushed. “We’re from the science department, Captain.”

“Dismissed. And you’re still getting a refresher course in combat training.” Jim watched them scurry away. “How the hell did they pass the academy?”

Spock shifted beside him. “I apologize. It was…ill-conceived. I admit I may not actually appreciate the point of role playing.”

“Yes,” Jim murmured. “That’s becoming quite clear. Come on, Spock.”

They went down the sandy path to the outside glass lift and got in. Jim faced the water, smiling his appreciation.

“You have to admit this is gorgeous.”

“It is aesthetically pleasing.”

Jim grabbed Spock’s hand in his as they stepped off the lift and went down the hallway to their room. He waved his hand over the door lock and it disengaged, allowing them entry.

Spock followed Jim to the floor to ceiling window and drew Jim into his arms as they looked out at the bay, the sun reflecting perfectly on the water.

“This place is incredible. When I was a cadet I came here once with Bones, but I didn’t appreciate the beauty then.”

“You came here only for the abundant commitment-free copulation.”

Jim laughed. “Yeah. You do have a way with words, Spock.”

“Taluhk nash-veh k'dular,” Spock whispered against his ear.

Jim shivered. “And right there, those are my favorites.”

“We still have your third scenario to play out if you wish,” Spocks said, his lips trailing over Jim’s throat.

“Nah, I think I’m content to just be with my first officer in front of this window.”

“You wish to copulate on the floor next to the window?”

Jim chuckled. “Oh, baby, you just took the words right out of my mouth. Sounds like the best plan yet.”

And just like that, with no effort on Spock’s part at all, it seemed, Jim found himself lying on the plush rug next to the window with Spock hovering over him. The best shore leave _ever_. 


	19. Not Fooling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't going to post anything today, but ah well, here is this.

“I love you, Bones.”

Spock stiffened beside his captain. He didn’t want to look at Jim because he knew Jim would be smiling and right now Spock did not want to see a smile.

“What the hell?” McCoy demanded.

The captain laughed. “April Fools.”

“Oh, for all that’s holy,” McCoy snorted.

Now Spock did look at his captain, who sat next to him at the mess table. “April Fools?”

“Just, you know, a stupid Terran thing, Spock. You say shit you don’t really mean and then say April Fools. It’s hilarious.”

Spock arched a brow. “I hardly think it is hilarious, Captain. It sounds quite illogical.”

“Not to mention childish,” the doctor muttered.

Jim just smiled. “Hey, Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?”

“I think you’re the ugliest first officer in the Fleet.”

Spock blinked owlishly at him.

Jim laughed. “April Fools. Please. Like I’d even say that if I did think it, which I totally don’t.”

Spock eyed the doctor. ”When does this end?”

“11:59 PM. Trust me, it gets worse. Be sure he doesn’t mess with your station.”

“That would be a violation of regulations.”

Jim chuckled. “I never violate regulations or anything.”

Later, on the bridge, Spock watched as Ensign Chekov sat on what everyone said was a “whoopee cushion”. All Spock knew was that it made an inelegant noise and the ensign blushed. The captain and Mr. Scott, predictably, thought it was hilarious.

For the most part, Spock was glad to see that Jim kept his pranks restrained to others besides him. He winked enough at Spock, though, to make Spock feel on edge all day as to what the captain could possibly be up to.

The thing was it had only been two days since Spock had slammed down his chess piece, come to the other side of the table, pulled Jim to his feet, and proceeded to maul his captain. For the past two days, when they were not busy with actual work, Spock had taken Jim in various parts of both of their quarters. They had not spoken of feelings, though Spock knew how he felt, of course, and in fact when they were together privately no speaking had been done at all. No one but the two of them even knew they were together.

But perhaps their new relationship was why he had mostly escaped being the butt of Jim’s increasingly immature pranks.

Suddenly the hair on the back of his neck prickled and then Jim spoke directly next to Spock’s ear.

“Chess tonight, Mr. Spock?”

“Affirmative, Captain, but it will have to be late as I have some experiments to attend to.”

“That will work. I have at least a million reports to do.”

Jim moved away and Spock tried not to let his gaze zero in on Jim’s ass. He was not terribly successful.

****

Jim greeted Spock with a brief kiss before turning to get Spock some tea from the replicator. Spock busied himself with setting up the chess set. He hadn’t failed to notice the dark circle under Jim’s eyes. The captain was exhausted, despite his silly pranks all day. Though Spock wanted very much to continue their physical pursuit of each other, he would not jeopardize Jim’s health, so he would see that after a chess game, Jim went to bed.

Jim put the tea in Spock’s hand, and Spock set it down next to his seat at the table.

“Hey, Spock?”

“Yes, Jim?”

“Do you know I told Bones about us?”

“Did you?”

Jim smiled a little. “He didn’t believe me.”

“Why?”

“Because he thought it was an April Fools joke.”

“A logical conclusion given your behavior most of the day.”

Jim was suddenly in Spock’s personal space, not that Spock minded, and he put his arms around Spock’s neck. “Let’s forget chess.”

“You do not wish to play?”

“Oh, I want to play. But with you, not the game.”

“You are tired and—”

“And nothing. I want to crawl all over you. I want you to fuck me until I can’t stop screaming your name. I want you imbedded in me everywhere.”

“Jim—”

“Spock.” His hand cupped Spock’s jaw. “I love you.”

Spock opened his mouth to respond in kind when it suddenly occurred to him that this might be another of Jim’s April Fools jokes. Like with the doctor. His heart pounded hard in his side at the thought Jim would tease him thusly.

Jim stared at Spock. “Did you hear what I said?”

Spock nodded. “I did.”

“I see.” Jim released him and backed away. “I see.”

“Jim—”

“No. It’s all right. But you know, you’re right. I am really tired.”

Spock shook his head. “I thought only that-that it might have been another April Fools joke.” He took a step toward Jim.

“April Fools? About that? Spock, never. And anyway…it’s past midnight.”

Spock looked at the time. Saw that Jim was right. “I apologize.”

Jim nodded. “Okay. Well.”

“I do lo—”

“The moment’s kind of passed,” Jim interrupted.

Spock exhaled. “I did not mean to ruin it.”

“I know.”

“I am not acquainted with Terran humor.”

Jim sighed, shook his head, and suddenly stepped close again, this time leaning his forehead against Spock’s. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m just a little sensitive about it. It’s fine.”

“I love you,” Spock whispered. “More than I have words to convey. I cherish thee.”

Jim laughed. Pulled back and kissed Spock soundly. “I’m so glad April Fools is over.”

“Indeed,” Spock agreed. “Now…about your suggestion that I be imbedded in you everywhere.” He pushed a very willing Jim toward the bed.

   


	20. Memorial

This was a day Jim did not like. He never had. It had been a day full of incredible sadness since he’d been a small boy. Each year when his mother and her husband would drag him here. And then just her when Frank mercifully died of a heart attack. Jim should feel guilty at feeling glad of his death. He wasn’t. Even after all these years.

He’d already been to his father’s grave. Not many came to it anymore. His mom was gone now. Hers next to his. Jim had no idea where Sam was buried. But yeah, they were all gone now. The lone survivor.

Fingers curled around his upper arm, a steady weight that helped him onto the next graves he would visit. He stumbled a few times both because the ground was uneven and he wasn’t exactly steady on his feet now. But he was kept upright, held by that steady presence he was very grateful for.

Jim paused at an intersection, trying to recall the way.

“To the right, Jim,” Spock said softly.

Jim glanced at him, his rock. It wasn’t fair he didn’t look as old as Jim. Oh, Spock looked old. His face lined, his dark hair beginning to show gray. But he still looked younger than Jim, still moved better.

He nodded and turned right, down another aisle of graves, some unattended except for whatever care Starfleet groundskeepers gave to them.

Spock stopped him before the one marked Nyota Uhura. Jim watched Spock’s face carefully.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Spock nodded. “Yes. I will always be grateful she found happiness with Mr. Scott.”

Jim smiled a little. “They had many happy years together.” His gaze went to the grave next to hers. Montgomery Scott. “They were good with each other.”

“Indeed.” Spock, who still held on to Jim’s arm, bent down to lay flowers on both graves. He whispered words in Vulcan before straightening and leading Jim down to the others.

Next were Chekov’s and Sulu’s. It was Jim who lay the flowers on theirs.

There were other names, other crew he recognized and silently paid respect to. But when he stopped before the grave he’d dreaded seeing most, his throat filled with a lump so large he nearly choked on it. His vision blurred and Spock helped him kneel down next to the grave.

“I miss you, Bones,” he choked out.

He’d died but a few months ago, but it seemed an eternity now.

“Stupid super blood,” Jim whispered. But then he thought about Spock. How would Spock feel to have no one? “Thank you for that. For everything. I love you. So much, Bones.”

Jim closed his eyes. Tears streamed down his face. His chest ached and his legs felt weak. This-this year was the worst one of all.

Spock helped him to stand and Jim turned into his arms, burying his face into Spock’s neck. He was getting Spock wet but he knew the Vulcan wouldn’t care. Spock’s arms came around him, held him tight.

“Come, t’hy’la, that is enough sadness for today. I will take you home and you can have your favorite dinner.”

Jim nodded, trying to swallow, but not very successfully. “Can we not come next year?”

“Whatever you wish, ashal-veh.”

He nodded again and stepped away enough so that they walked down the aisle again toward the exit. He was reminded of a much happier walk down an aisle so many years ago. He slipped his hand next to Spock’s, and threaded their fingers, feeling Spock’s ring.

Once they left the Memorial Park, Jim turned back to look at the entrance.

“We’ll come next year,” he said quietly.

“Yes.”

Jim blew out a breath and smiled as best he could. “You are my heart.”

“As you are mine, t’hy’la.”


	21. Carry Me Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some fluffiness is needed, here it is.

“Captain.”

Jim turned toward the voice who spoke his title in such a low, seductive way. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be seductive but it totally was. He smiled.

“Are you ready to depart, Captain?”

He was beautiful. Dark eyes, slightly green cheeks, those adorable eyebrows, and the ears. Jim wanted to lick them. Instead he licked his lips. His own, unfortunately, but later…if he were lucky.

“’s Jim.”

“I am aware,” his first officer said. “Jim. You are inebriated.”

“Is that a statement of fact or an accusation.”

Spock’s head tilted. “Whichever you prefer.”

Jim slipped off the stool and straight into Spock’s arms. “Oopsie.”

“Are you all right?” Spock asked, steadying him.

“No.”

“No?”

“Don’t tell my science officer or anything, but I drank too much.”

Spock nodded. “Yes, you did.”

“You won’t tell him?” Jim persisted.

“There is no need. You have told him yourself.” Spock quirked a brow. “And indeed I do not believe you could hide it.”

Jim put a hand up to Spock’s ear and began to pet it. “Are you going to purr for me?”

“Captain, really.”

“Okay, okay, sheesh.” Jim kissed Spock’s jaw. When the Vulcan went rigid, Jim pulled back. “Sorry, but you know, it’s sort of your own fault.”

“How so?”

Jim could sense Spock’s amusement. “You’re so fucking irresistible.”

“Are you ready to leave this establishment?”

“Yeah. Should I say goodbye?”

“Negative. I have already said goodbye for you.”

Jim stared at Spock, eyes shining. “You’re the best first officer anyone could ever have. And a pretty good snience coffisner too.”

“You are speaking nonsense, Captain.”

“No, it’s all true.”

“Can you walk?”

“Since I was twelve.” Jim paused. “Months. Not years.”

“Good to know,” Spock replied. “I meant now. But perhaps under the circumstances, I should carry you.”

"You're going to carry me home?"

"That is what I said."

Jim felt his world turn as Spock somehow scooped him up into his arms, bridal-style. Jim looped his arm around Spock’s neck.

Though he continued to keep his gaze on Spock, he was aware Spock was moving them out of the “establishment”.

The air outside was crisp and there was a definite breeze ruffling Spock’s hair.

“It is a gust not a breeze,” Spock said.

“Oh. I said that out loud, huh?”

“You did.”

“You cold?”

“You are warm enough for both of us.”

“You are too good to me,” Jim mumbled. “I hope I don’t throw up on you.”

“That makes two of us, Captain.”

Jim chuckled. “I don’t know which one of us is funnier.”

Spock’s lips twitched slightly. “Vulcans do not make jokes or engage in humorous discussions.”

“So I’m the funnier one.”

“I cannot assess that given I have no sense of humor as Dr. McCoy has pointed out on numerous occasions.”

Jim curled his fingers around Spock’s jaw. “He really likes you.”

“Does he?”

“Uh-huh. In a grumpy sort of way.” He licked Spock’s jaw. “Hey Spock?”

“Yes, Captain?”

Spock entered a building through glass double doors and then he appeared to be climbing stairs.

“Ever thought about growing a goatee?”

“You speak of my mirror counterpart?”

“Well. The Empire you. That goatee was wicked.”

“You admired it?” Spock asked with obvious skepticism.

“Somewhat. But you know, you’re a lot—”

Spock stopped before a door and scanned something in his hand. The door slid open. Spock looked down at Jim. “I assume you have surmised the significance of this.”

Jim stared into deep chocolate eyes. “Oh, yes. I know.”

Spock carried him over the threshold and then very gently set Jim on his feet. He reached for Jim’s left hand with his own, gazing down at their platinum and diamond rings.

“I admit to reluctance in engaging in such old-fashioned Earth traditions, Captain. But they do match perfectly and are an excellent declaration of our new relationship.”

Jim smiled. “We’re bonded and now married. Do you think it might be okay to call me Jim?”

“Perhaps.” Spock drew him close into his arms. “On occasion.”

Jim smooth his hand over Spock’s coat. “You look amazing in your tux.”

“You are still too inebriated.”

“But it’s our wedding night. I want to lick every inch of you.”

“We have the next four days,” Spock reminded him. He leaned in close to Jim’s lips. “And the rest of our lives.”

Jim closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss of his…husband. "But don't you want to fuck?"

Spock lifted him up in his arms again. "Later. When you are in no danger of throwing up on me."

"I can understand that. Spockie?"

A sigh that almost wasn't.

"Uh. Talukkie nasshie vey k'dula."

"Captain, never say that again."

Jim frowned. "Wasn't that I love your or cherish you or you're the bestest forever or whatever?"

"It definitely was not."

"What was it?"

"I have no idea," Spock said. "But it was not Taluhk nash-veh k'dular."

Jim smiled into Spock's eyes. "That does sound better."

"Indeed."

"Well. Then...I like you muchly."

Spock's lips curved. "I like you muchly as well."


End file.
